What's the deal...

Best Unread Blog on the Internet. When I can remember to write.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Top Ten Things Heard Around the Everyday Office...

10- "Hey did you get that Email i sent you?" - this is said 3 minutes after the email has been sent.
9- "Ugh.. is it still snowing?!" - This is said when anyone enters the doors covered in snow.
8-" Do we get presidents day off? Nope."
7- (in passing...) "Ugh.. is it lunch time yet?"
6- "Hey I Left you a voicemail!"- this is followed up by telling the person every word you said in the voicemail.
5-“hey!! Boss isn’t here today”.. “uh oh… party!”
4-"Is your Internet working?"
3- "Hey Boss!"
2- "Did you get the memo?"
1-"must be a Monday"- this is followed by you punching that person.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Peter Pan: Whoremaster?

Peter Pan was my first crush. And just to be clear, we're talking about the Disney cartoon, not the Julie Andrews version. I didn't realize this until I was watching it last night with my daughter. This was our Netflix this week because I have a problem. It's amazing how much of the movie I remember from childhood. There was not a single frame of that film that I couldn't recall from when I watched it forever ago when my brother and I were kids.

So why was Peter Pan my first crush? Because he is a BAD ASS! No one tells him what to do, he fights pirates all the time and he had an entire gang that do whatever he says. And then, there's the ladies...

Not only do all girls love a bad ass, all girls love a man (or boy, in this case) that is unavailable. And Peter Pan is unavailable not because he is in a relationship, but because he chooses not to be in a relationship (swoon). Just look at how pissed Tinkerbell got when Peter decided to take Wendy to Neverland! She's a fairy. How would that even work? And the Mermaids... They tried to drown Wendy when they found out that she was tagging along with their man. They honest to God wanted to kill her! What man wouldn't want this kind of power over women?

The thing is, does Peter Pan even know what kind of power he holds? When Wendy gets jealous over his flirtation with the Indian Princess Tigerlilly, Peter is able to talk his way out of it without even trying. I don't even think he really apologizes!

I guess some people would argue that Peter Pan appears to have no interest in women because he is gay. After all, what kind of whoremaster would wear tights? Whetever the case, my hat goes off to you, Peter. You have the ladies eating out of the palm of your hand. And this guy.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

At Last...

Last night I was watching the "Neighboorhood Ball" and it was ok, however, as Beyonce was singing At Last and President Obama and Mrs. Obama were dancing, it made me cry. Its not that here is our "messiah" new president as the right likes to call him, mostly because they can't handle the defiet, but here is a man, who loves his wife, and he reached his ultimate goal, and we got to watch. If this does not hit you on a level deep down then I just don't know what to say...

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Watertown Daily Times Article Titled : North Country Blacks Excited about Obama...

Do we not have a better way of saying this? I mean really… nothing screams.. WE’RE REALLY NOT COMFORTABLE WITH DIVERSITY or WE REALLY AREN’T A DIVERSE AREA like this headline. Now, I’m not one for politically correctness all the time, but the WDT full of journalism majors and writers, well maybe not since its more of a who do I know that can help me get a job area more than a hey, look at my hard work and merit area, who should be able to make this headline a little more graceful. Watertown Blacks? Where are we 1958 Alabama? Why not say African American Watertown Residents? Now I get that if it were Hilary, there’d be a headline that said “Watertown Women excited for Hilary”, but it’s like.. Duh, of course they are... there have been years of struggle and fight to get to the top. So instead of taking another step back to say hey…local black people are excited! Let’s take a step forward and say.. Congratulations America, we are closer to coming out of the shadows of our past, we really are one step closer to that melting pot that we learned about in middle school. We are capable of voting on merit and morals and forward thinking and we are ALL excited about Obama. Listen, I chose to live here, I’ve lived in Atlanta and Los Angeles, and I cherish the fact that Watertown is a small town and for the most part it’s a safe town, but let’s face it, we aren’t that diverse, but we are growing. If I were to take that headline to another bigger city, it would scream small town, small minded, when I know deep down, we aren’t really, and we’ve just got to catch up.

I know I’m not the only one who feels this way…

(Rachel, this is where you come in...)

I am a white woman who is excited to see Obama become the next President of the United States. A lot of Americans are excited about it. And some Americans are not. Some NNY Residents are not. All you have to do is tune in to a local radio show in the morning and listen for yourself to see how intolerant of a region this is.
To me, the piece sounds like it was written to try to make it seem like we are a culturally diverse area. And really – we’re not. There are residents here that throw around the “N” like it’s an acceptable part of their vocabulary. Truth be told, they’ve never been called out on it. They say it because there is pretty much no chance that they will get their ass kicked for it. There are bars in Watertown that will not allow soldiers as patrons. They will deny you access because you have an “out of state license”. What better way to say “We don’t like outsiders” that that?
This article (North Country Blacks Excited about Obama) was attempting something noble, but if you look beneath the surface, it failed miserably.

**Amendment- Even if Black is the AP term- to us it does not invoke community, which is what we should be striving for in such a small one.. also, The AP uses Black, as in Watertown Black Residents, it does not use the plural as inNorth Country Blacks...

Monday, January 19, 2009

Re: That's Right NNY - You Have an Accent

Since Cari has outed all of us for having an accent, I thought that perhaps it was time to embrace it. I have been places where people have asked me where I'm from because I have an "accent". I always thought this was strange until now. So, for all of you out-of-towners, I offer you this guide to speaking NNY-ese:

1. Coyote (kahy-oh-tee or kahy-oht) I looked it up. We're both right. Having been laughed out of the room while using the first pronounciation of the word among a group of men dressed head to toe in camo and equipped with guns, I will be sticking to the latter version. Especially when referring to coyote hunting. Which brings me to...

2. Hunting (huh-in) Apparently the first n, the t and the g are all silent in this word. We don't really use the g for the majority of words that we say. It's just there to make the word look pretty. So if someone tells you they are going coyote hunting and don't pronounce it, "Goin kahy-ote huh-in" then they are lying. Or they are a poseur.

3. For (fer) Example: I'm goin to the store fer some milk. (Note: Some pronounce milk "melk", but they are stupid). Usually, you are talking fast enough when you say this that no one will really pick up on it. The only time it will really get noticed is when you use it in the middle of a sentence and then forget what you were going to say. Ex: I got that stuff fer...... See, now you just sound like an idiot. I know. I've done it. Lesson learned.

4. Yup and Nope (yuht and noht) "Yup" and "Nope" are slang words to begin with, but we've taken it one step further: We've eliminated the p at the end. If you are going to use these words, I stongly advise you not to do so in a professional environment or a job interview. I would never hire someone who answered "yuht" or "noht" to any question that I asked. At least put the p back at the end.

By the way, NNY gave us Potato Chips. Is there really a clear winner here?

That's right NNY- You have an accent.

So, I was born and raised in Flowery Branch, GA, I moved to NNY (Carthage to be specific) when I was 13. Needless to say along with my books, clothes, and wishes of warmer weather came along, my southern accent. Now GA has a very sing song... Paula Deen accent. Which is what my beautiful mother sounds like to this day... and sometimes I miss it.

Of course 13 is a hard age for any kid, needless to say a kid in a new town with a funny accent. But here's what I noticed... YOU PEOPLE HAVE ACCENTS TOO! That's right... I'll never forget one day my friend, who has always lived in Upstate NY, said, "I don't understand the southern accent, I mean, don't they get that everyone else sounds the same and they don't" Well, I guess she didn't realize that the south isn't one tiny corner of our country.. most of us have some sort of regional accent, and since I spent my middle school days being picked on for my silly southern one, and I have witnessed many people talk to my mother, like she is stupid just because of her accent.. I am here to get my revenge! Listen up NNY.. because you (read in a southern accent..) DON'T TALK RIGHT EITHER!

1. Coyote (kahy-oh-tee)- Many Northern New Yorkers say this word with out the "e" sound at the end, look it up people.

2. Roof- dictionary key same- This is NOT pronounced RUF. That is the noise that comes out of a dogs mouth.. you do NOT need to shovel your RUF. You need to Shovel your ROOF!

3. Creek (kreek)- This word is pronounced just like its spelled. It is not pronounced.. CRICK. That is something you might get in your neck after sleeping wrong, or a sound the stairs make in an old house... NOT A BODY OF WATER. Just like meek, or reek, or geek. They all have the same vowel sound, you wouldn't say.. "your such a GIK" so why would you say.."i went down to the CRICK?!! please stop it.

4. SO DON'T I. This is often said when someone is agreeing with something that is being said "Oh Man I love www.podunkposh.com" ... "Oh really, SO DON'T I!!" um.. your negating what you are trying to say. What your really saying when you can't use proper grammar and say.. So Don't I, is "I don't". This may sound foreign to you, but I promise you'll catch it next time its said.

So these are just a FEW things that really get me. I'm not trying to be bitchy, but if you think that just because someone has a southern accent they are stupid, or must not be as up to date as you remember 2 things... 1- Chances are, you are not using proper grammar either, 2- Atlanta gave us Coca-Cola, and Waffle House.. therefore THE SOUTH WINS!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Top Ten Reasons Why I Wish I Was 3 Again

1. I could nap in the middle of the day, or pretty much whenever I wanted to

2. If I didn't comb my hair, nobody would judge me for it.

3. If I wanted to wear camouflage pants to my birthday party, that would be cool

4. Play Doh

5. No one would ever look at my artwork and tell me to make changes

"These are 2 guys. The pink one is sad and has two suns
on his arms. The blue one is happy and bigger." ~Natali, Age 3

7. My Little Pony underwear

8. If I was cranky, everyone would just know that I was tired

9. If I wanted to stop a Top Ten list at number 9, I could

Monday, January 12, 2009


Ok, so I am engaged, and I am not really one of those crazy girly girls who has had their wedding planned out for like years. There is no trapper keeper filled with Magazine cut outs if my 12 year old head on a wedding dress adorned body standing at an alter with Ryder Strong in his Boy Meets World Days. So when the fiance popped the question, I was all... I don't even know where to start. So I figure this is a great place to chronicle some of my experiences.. Rachel has her awesome kids to write about... (does that make her a mommy blogger?) And so I guess, I have my wedding to write about, both of which makes us experts and you should take every word we have to say ...VERY SERIOUSLY.

So my first thought, living in a very rural area...I WILL NOT GET MARRIED IN A FIRE HALL. Now, thank god that is not the case. I wanna plan something fairly simple yet... posh. So to get some guidance Ihave now attended 2 wedding shows. One here in Watertown and one in Syracuse.

The one in Watertown I think was as to be expected, a good show, a little small. But they had one of everything at least, jewelers, DJ's, Photographers, cake people, florist, make-up, dress/tux shops.. ect. I got what I needed out of a few good ideas..

Now the one is Syracuse...which isn't NYC but a much bigger place than Watertown, WAS A JOKE. No jewelers, I think I saw one cake person, ONLY ONE DRESS SHOP!!, and lots of photographers, DJ's and reception places. There was a fashion show on the hour which was cute and they guys came out and performed little choreographed dances and the old ladies whooped it up because, lets be honest, that's the most excitement you're getting from men in this area. But I'm paying for parking, paying to get into the show, and you only have 1 dress shop! What is the point? The no jeweler thing kills me, even if I were eloping, I'd be buying jewelry.. umm.. Rings! I even think you talk about rings in at your ceremony.. you know..with this ring.. blahblah blah..not with this awesome gourmet company I the wedd.. I was a bit disappointed for how promoted it was! And the vendors ...they had a ton of Photogs, and reception halls i have both.. http://www.jbassphoto.com/ check out my photographer.. AMAZING!

* side note I won him in a silent auction... such a money saver!

Rachel will be doing my invitations, so the few things I really needed help with they didn't' have.. so hopefully I will be able to log my experiences here and have a very posh wedding in a very podunk place!

Thank God, one of my awesome bridesmaids went with me.. we also stopped and tried on bridesmaid dresses!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

A Day in the Life of Shamus McGee

January 9th, 2008

2:16 AM Paced the kitchen floor for 35 minutes.  I didn't really need anything - I just like to hear the sound of my toenails on the linoleum.

5:00 AM My people finally woke up and let me outside to take a leak.  Holy shit! It was cold out there! 30 seconds after I went outside, I barked at the door for 2 minutes straight until someone let me in.

7:00 AM My people left for work. I was able to sneak out the front door but fell victim once again to the "Treat Treat" trick.  Damn my lack of willpower! I was lured back into the house and barked at the window for about 45 minutes after they pulled out of the driveway.  

7:45 AM Found a stray diaper on the floor and ripped it into tic tac sized pieces.  I have to say that I was a little disappointed that it was a clean diaper.

8:00 AM Was exhausted from the diaper escapade.  Crawled under the couch to take a nap.

10:00 AM Awoke to the sound of the garbage man.  Barked at the window until I was hoarse.

3:26 PM Chewed at my feet and pulled some fur from my back.  Note: Remind my people to take me to the vet to seek treatment for my neurosis.

5:30 PM People came home.  I jumped all over them and knocked the small ones down.  One of the small ones came after me with a My Little Pony.  Had to take cover under the couch until dinner.

6:43 PM No table scraps again tonight.  I will hold out hope for later in the week.

11:00 PM People went to sleep.  I was able to sneak some food from the garbage onto the couch and continue pulling fur from my body.

Friday, January 9, 2009

A Converstation with my Mother

"I'm going to the Casino tonight!"

"If you win, Leave... Have fun!!"

"I'm going to be drinking Vodka and Grapefruit and hitting MAX BET BABY!"

"I'm so Proud!"

and yes, we end everything we say with an exclamation mark.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

A Conversation with My Fiance

After putting on shirt that I hadn't worn in a while...

me: Hey, How does this shirt look?


I found this picture on People.com- its Chris Noths' Baby... who new Mr. Big could have such a cute freaking kid!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

When Did I Become Such a Pussy?

Let me just start out by saying that I have always been a huge fan of scary movies. Not so much blood and guts (not that blood and guts ever bothered me) - but suspense. You know, the "When is that guy going to jump out of the bushes and kill those unrealistically beautiful and adult-looking high school kids?" kind of suspense. Some of my fondest memories include watching every scary movie available with my friends when I was younger.

And then something very weird happened...

I got my Netflix in the mail about a month ago and was so excited, because the only DVD's our player has ever seen include Dora, Diego and Tom & Jerry. So when "The Strangers" showed up in my mailbox, I couldn't wait to get the kids to bed and watch it. I got through the first 5 minutes and was totally terrified and had to stop the movie. I know - what the hell? Nothing even happens it the first 5 minutes! I don't even think there was any talking yet! So, no big deal - I'll just send it back and get my next movie. Because obviously a brief flashback scene and two people moping around a house is just too damn scary for me.

So when "Zodiac" came, I put that sucker in and made it about 3 minutes. I got to the part where the couple is parked and a car pulls up in the background. Nope - can't handle it - Eject. Seriously? Seriously. What in the name of Alfred Hitchcock is the matter with me? Is it because these two movies are "based on actual events"? Did giving birth negate my " I love scary shit" gene? Whetever it is, I need to fix it. It's embarassing.

So, Netflix - I will be anxiously awaiting the next movie in my queue, Peter Pan.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Random Top 10

Top Ten Most Random facts I Found on the Internet:
1- Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, while dogs only have about ten
2- Stewardesses’ is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand
3- Emus and kangaroos cannot walk backwards, and are on the Australian coat of arms for that reason.
4- It was discovered on a space mission that a frog can throw up. The frog throws up its stomach first, so the stomach is dangling out of its mouth. Then the frog uses its forearms to dig out all of the stomach’s contents and then swallows the stomach back down again.
5- The New Kids on the Block are still performing “You Got the Right Stuff” along with the “New Kid Dance”
6- A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
7- Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
8- The word “set” has more definitions than any other word in the English language.
9- Odontophobia is the fear of teeth
10- Kansas state law requires pedestrians crossing the highways at night to wear tail lights.

Friday, January 2, 2009

New Years Resolutions

So I guess we should be making New Years Resolutions. So Here's my List.

1. Make a Reece's Peanut Butter Cup Fat/Calorie Free and have it taste exactly the same.

2. Change People's reactions to Kathy Griffin Swearing. I know she lives for it, but our societies reaction to a swear word has got to stop. This morning more than one major web site's headline has something to do with Kathy Griffin swearing at some NYC Partier on New Years Eve as she co-hosted events on CNN with Anderson Cooper. UM...WHO F*N CARES!! Last time I checked the middle east was still exploding, our weather is all messed up, people are still starving, people are still dying of AIDS and we look the other way... Kathy Griffin telling off some heckler is NOT a big deal. First of all, we know she's gonna do it, that's why CNN hired her, she makes me laugh and Anderson Cooper laugh, so why is it such a shock when she said it..AFTER MIDNIGHT.

Last I checked she was ringing in 2009 not 1909. Get Over it. People swear and show their ankles in public. I probably just blew some peoples mind with that tidbit.

3. Wear this hat everywhere because its awesome...

Happy New Year!