I'm Sorry, But our First Lady is Better Looking than Your First Lady

When was the last time we had a first lady who looked like this?

If I were Mr. Obama I'd be looking at her like that too. I'm sorry, buy who do you want representing the women of our nation Michelle or a Bush? I'll take Michelle any day.

Summer, The Perfect Time to Buy Other People's Shit

Living in Northern NY we really have to pack in the summer experience. We really have only 3 months of the 12 to be outside and enjoy it before we are raped and pillaged by massive Lake Effect Snow Storms, and spend all our free time shoveling and snow blowing our pooped lined driveways. Poor dogs have no where else to go!

Anyhow... so one of my favorite past times is the yard sale Saturday. We have full weekends here were local "villages" will have a Village Wide Sale. We'll I work for public television, my pay checks aren't huge, so if I need a new toaster or some dirty romantic novels, I'll wait for the sales. I've got some really great deals so far, books, lamps, toaster, shelving, just to name a few, but what i really want to talk about and bring to your attention are a couple of the freaking weird things people are trying to sell! So as any normal person would do, I took out my cell phone and took a few pictures.

1.

First of All, where does one acquire a metallic pink faceless dog, wearing a Santa Hat and who thinks that someone else would want it? I am really bummed that I didn't get a chance to go back there and see if someone bought it. I wonder what they were charging for it? Free with purchase I hope. Market it as a good discipline tool for kids. "If you keep acting up you little shit, Santa isn't coming... the Christmas crazy dog is!

I know that would keep me in line!

2.

OK What the F! First of all, I understand if you are a collector, but usually collectors keep their stuff in good shape, and by good shape I MEAN WITH CLOTHES ON! There were literally boxes and boxes of these dolls, and what's with the lone Santa Suit? Creepy, dude, Creepy.





Oh right.. there's more.

Messed up!

Gotta Love Summer!

Guitar Hero: Obsesed

So my fiance is a HUGE Metallica fan. So when they released Guitar Hero:Metallica, he was first in line. Now, neither of us had played Guitar Hero before this... I know I know.. the most popular game ever or whatever. Blah Blah Blah.

We'll I'll sort of take that back because there was one really drunken night where I was lead singer for RockBand at a friends house. After about 8 Grey Goose and Ruby Red's I sounded AMAZING. I bet you 100 bucks you couldn't tell the difference between me or Karen O of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs... however thanks to cell phone technology I was able to record myself and was embarrassed for the next week. BUT WHATEVER THIS ISN'T ABOUT MY SINGING SKILLS.

So when fiance brought Guitar Hero home, I watched him play...enjoyed the music, and didn't think twice about it. I have never really been into video games, I let my little sister take care of that.. who by the way, can beat just about any song on expert, you can't even see her fingers...

So one day I'm sitting around bored, Fiance wasn't home... so I picked up the Guitar...

BEST GAME EVER! I can't stop playing it..its like heroine for someone who is too cheap and scared to actually use heroine. I love it. I am pretty too (even though its still on easy.. HEY THE METALLICA VERSION IS HARDER THAN THE OTHER PRISSY LEDGENS OF ROCK OR WHATEVER VERSIONS)

My eyes turn completely red after about 2 hours of not blinking and the other day I almost peed my pants because Metallica songs never end! Try playing Merciful Fate... Fiance calls it 12 minutes of Satan... maybe its because you eyes fall out of your head and arms fall off when you hit about 9 minutes.

So friends...if I don't answer my cell...

If Only Life Were This Simple

N: Uncle Travie, I saw my boyfriend today.

Travie: You can't have a boyfriend.  I'll beat him up.

N: Noooo....you can't do that.  He's going to be in my wedding.

Travie: Well what does he do for a job?

N: Ummm...he has a sandbox.

Nostalgia

So back in my AIM days.. when I couldn't do anything without letting the world know what I was doing via My AIM away message or my "profile".... I used to make these long lists of things that I liked and didn't like. Pure statements of me just kind of trying to be funny and ironic, however, informative. So for some reason when I woke up this morning I thought of these list that I would do and decided to bring those back to life one more time. If anyone appreciates this it will be Devon Gillan and Matt Rogers, my two favorite people from college.


I like...
putting on jeans immediately after coming out of the dryer, Reese's, spaghetti with meat sauce, boys with tattoos, fiance's with beards, dogs named anakin, cats named Vader, mozzarella cheese, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Davey Havok (still), men's watches, fuchsia, walks, warm days, target's dollar section, boneless buffalo wings, big earrings, snuffalufagus, getting paid, notebooks, a good pen, house plants, painting a new room, my nephew, reading the UK Daily Mail, tetris, fun post-its, Dr. Pepper, Kristen Stewart, my wedding dress, baking, asian babies, bobby pins, zebras.

I don't' like...
snow, washing dishes, lotion, cream cheese, baby pink, Italian sausage, rude people, The Jonas Brothers, grant writing, math, push ups, pull ups (the exercise not the diaper thing), sweet pickles, wings that are too spicy, bbq pizza, 19 versions of CSI, bossy people, the guy who looks like Justin Timberlake (a little) on American Idol, cold feet, wet socks, Care Bears, people who don't respond quickly to my emails, Diet Pepsi, crushed red peppers, spam email, the lure of the lottery, how popcorn will aways get stuck somewhere in your teeth, losing touch, FYE, that I really liked Twilight, changing the clocks, hornets/wasps, Lady GaGa, feta cheese, flat hair.


Ironically My likes are a bit more mature.. my dislikes... pretty much exactly the same.

Your List?

A Waste of $40

Sherbert Kisses

The Fiance is holding Carson our Nephew and he blows those loud raspberry kisses on his tummy..

Fiance: "Look he loves the sherbet kisses..."

Me, as I am slowly realizing what he said versus what he meant and Laughing so Hard I'm peeing a little:

"Don't you mean Raspberries"

Fiance: "You know what I meant asshole."

Me: Still Laughing uncontrollably.