I'm Sorry, But our First Lady is Better Looking than Your First Lady

When was the last time we had a first lady who looked like this?

If I were Mr. Obama I'd be looking at her like that too. I'm sorry, buy who do you want representing the women of our nation Michelle or a Bush? I'll take Michelle any day.

Summer, The Perfect Time to Buy Other People's Shit

Living in Northern NY we really have to pack in the summer experience. We really have only 3 months of the 12 to be outside and enjoy it before we are raped and pillaged by massive Lake Effect Snow Storms, and spend all our free time shoveling and snow blowing our pooped lined driveways. Poor dogs have no where else to go!

Anyhow... so one of my favorite past times is the yard sale Saturday. We have full weekends here were local "villages" will have a Village Wide Sale. We'll I work for public television, my pay checks aren't huge, so if I need a new toaster or some dirty romantic novels, I'll wait for the sales. I've got some really great deals so far, books, lamps, toaster, shelving, just to name a few, but what i really want to talk about and bring to your attention are a couple of the freaking weird things people are trying to sell! So as any normal person would do, I took out my cell phone and took a few pictures.

1.

First of All, where does one acquire a metallic pink faceless dog, wearing a Santa Hat and who thinks that someone else would want it? I am really bummed that I didn't get a chance to go back there and see if someone bought it. I wonder what they were charging for it? Free with purchase I hope. Market it as a good discipline tool for kids. "If you keep acting up you little shit, Santa isn't coming... the Christmas crazy dog is!

I know that would keep me in line!

2.

OK What the F! First of all, I understand if you are a collector, but usually collectors keep their stuff in good shape, and by good shape I MEAN WITH CLOTHES ON! There were literally boxes and boxes of these dolls, and what's with the lone Santa Suit? Creepy, dude, Creepy.





Oh right.. there's more.

Messed up!

Gotta Love Summer!

Guitar Hero: Obsesed

So my fiance is a HUGE Metallica fan. So when they released Guitar Hero:Metallica, he was first in line. Now, neither of us had played Guitar Hero before this... I know I know.. the most popular game ever or whatever. Blah Blah Blah.

We'll I'll sort of take that back because there was one really drunken night where I was lead singer for RockBand at a friends house. After about 8 Grey Goose and Ruby Red's I sounded AMAZING. I bet you 100 bucks you couldn't tell the difference between me or Karen O of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs... however thanks to cell phone technology I was able to record myself and was embarrassed for the next week. BUT WHATEVER THIS ISN'T ABOUT MY SINGING SKILLS.

So when fiance brought Guitar Hero home, I watched him play...enjoyed the music, and didn't think twice about it. I have never really been into video games, I let my little sister take care of that.. who by the way, can beat just about any song on expert, you can't even see her fingers...

So one day I'm sitting around bored, Fiance wasn't home... so I picked up the Guitar...

BEST GAME EVER! I can't stop playing it..its like heroine for someone who is too cheap and scared to actually use heroine. I love it. I am pretty too (even though its still on easy.. HEY THE METALLICA VERSION IS HARDER THAN THE OTHER PRISSY LEDGENS OF ROCK OR WHATEVER VERSIONS)

My eyes turn completely red after about 2 hours of not blinking and the other day I almost peed my pants because Metallica songs never end! Try playing Merciful Fate... Fiance calls it 12 minutes of Satan... maybe its because you eyes fall out of your head and arms fall off when you hit about 9 minutes.

So friends...if I don't answer my cell...

If Only Life Were This Simple

N: Uncle Travie, I saw my boyfriend today.

Travie: You can't have a boyfriend.  I'll beat him up.

N: Noooo....you can't do that.  He's going to be in my wedding.

Travie: Well what does he do for a job?

N: Ummm...he has a sandbox.

Nostalgia

So back in my AIM days.. when I couldn't do anything without letting the world know what I was doing via My AIM away message or my "profile".... I used to make these long lists of things that I liked and didn't like. Pure statements of me just kind of trying to be funny and ironic, however, informative. So for some reason when I woke up this morning I thought of these list that I would do and decided to bring those back to life one more time. If anyone appreciates this it will be Devon Gillan and Matt Rogers, my two favorite people from college.


I like...
putting on jeans immediately after coming out of the dryer, Reese's, spaghetti with meat sauce, boys with tattoos, fiance's with beards, dogs named anakin, cats named Vader, mozzarella cheese, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Davey Havok (still), men's watches, fuchsia, walks, warm days, target's dollar section, boneless buffalo wings, big earrings, snuffalufagus, getting paid, notebooks, a good pen, house plants, painting a new room, my nephew, reading the UK Daily Mail, tetris, fun post-its, Dr. Pepper, Kristen Stewart, my wedding dress, baking, asian babies, bobby pins, zebras.

I don't' like...
snow, washing dishes, lotion, cream cheese, baby pink, Italian sausage, rude people, The Jonas Brothers, grant writing, math, push ups, pull ups (the exercise not the diaper thing), sweet pickles, wings that are too spicy, bbq pizza, 19 versions of CSI, bossy people, the guy who looks like Justin Timberlake (a little) on American Idol, cold feet, wet socks, Care Bears, people who don't respond quickly to my emails, Diet Pepsi, crushed red peppers, spam email, the lure of the lottery, how popcorn will aways get stuck somewhere in your teeth, losing touch, FYE, that I really liked Twilight, changing the clocks, hornets/wasps, Lady GaGa, feta cheese, flat hair.


Ironically My likes are a bit more mature.. my dislikes... pretty much exactly the same.

Your List?

A Waste of $40

Sherbert Kisses

The Fiance is holding Carson our Nephew and he blows those loud raspberry kisses on his tummy..

Fiance: "Look he loves the sherbet kisses..."

Me, as I am slowly realizing what he said versus what he meant and Laughing so Hard I'm peeing a little:

"Don't you mean Raspberries"

Fiance: "You know what I meant asshole."

Me: Still Laughing uncontrollably.

The True Love of My Life.

So for anyone who knows me really well, they'll tell you that I am a pop culture buff, nerd, TV marathon watcher... loser. Ask me almost anything about TV or Music since 1983 and I can probably give you the answer. And considering I have an associates degree and Bachelors in TELEVISION I can go way before my time and pull facts out of no where.. its sad really that i am $40,000 in debt and all I can tell you is that Monica from Friends was the first character to mention her period on TV and that the first sound to be receive wirelessly was "S" in Morse code (this tidbit thanks to Mr. Kal Socolof of Herkimer CCC.) I am the wikipedia of my friends and family. My sister will call me to ask some randome question about What was the job of Uncle Jesse's wife Rebecca on Full House, it never fails, after I give her the answer with out missing a beat.. "Duh, Danny Tanner's Co-Anchor", that do I realize that I am on speaker phone and a room full of people explode with "oh man.. I TOLD YOU DUDE!"

Now, You Tube didn't' happen yesterday or anything but shit man can I waste some time there. I think I am in head over heals slap you on the ass in love with it. I love that if I want to reminisce about my childhood and watch a full episode of Kids Incorporated.. I can. It's comforting to know that its ok that I had a crush on a cartoon and If i want to watch a 4min 24 second clip of Daria just to see Trent I can! Endless possibilities. How can you resist reliving your favorite moments of Saved By the Bell, you know the episode when Jesse gets hooked on caffeine pills and sings "I'm so excited" over and over.. until Zack confronts her or if you get in an argument with your fiance about what as the Second Video ever Played on MTV and everyone knows that the first was "Video Killed the Radio Star.. the answer, "You Better Run" By Pat Benetar is only one search away. When I was in high school and college those VH1 clip shows were really popular.. and still are a bit... and my dream job was to be an editor for them and just sit and go through hours and hours of footage. Now, can make my own clip show of Rider Strong from Boy Meets World and Old Cheri Oteri SNL clips.

I kind of hate that my kids or anyone else ever for that matter, won't have the experience of getting to relieve your favorite show from your childhood 15 years later, because now all you have to do is wait 10 minutes after the episode has aired and BAM.. there it is on the web some where. Hopefully my kids will want to go outside and play while mommy sits in side and laughs her ass off at a clip of Steve Erkel Shrieking..."Did I do That..."

Alas.. I'll leave you with Possibly my favorite childhood memory...




They really don't make kids shows this awesome anymore.

I love You, You Tube.

How To Piss Off a Blue Collar Man's Man in 15 Seconds

Me: You smell weird...like flowery.

Him: What?!?

Me: Your hands-they smell like girl's lotion

Him: Why in the hell would I be using girl's lotion?

Me: I don't know. I'm just telling you what I think you smell like.

Him: So you think I smell like a girl?

Me: Right now you do. I mean if you like that kind of stuff, you're welcome to use anything of mine...

Him: Yeah right! Just so you know, it's called GoJo and it's hand cleaner for mechanics.

Me: Lady Mechanics?

My Version of Some else's version of a Blog entry

I read this blog post by Maggie Mason of MightyGirl.com and she was submitting her version of this blog entry. And being a follower from time to time... and thinking that both entries were really intriguing and genius.. here is my list of things that pop into my head against my will...

That I actually failed that Intro to Business class and am Paying for a Degree I don't have.

When I get out of the shower I open the bathroom door and there is a stranger on my couch.

A water snake in my toilet.

I buy my wedding dress at the perfect size and find out the next day that I'm pregnant.

Someone hands me a newborn and it slips through my fingers.

An intruder hiding in my house for days without anyone noticing.

Something that I really said a long time ago that I now realize was completely embarrassing and immature... plays over and over.


It's weird I know... but it happens to everyone.. what would be on your list.

Grab Your Backpack - Let's Shop!

It was recently announced that Dora the Explorer will be getting a makeover this fall. Now, instead of a wholesome little girl who loves going on adventures and solving problems, Dora will be heading to the mall. Hooray! Just the kind of role model I want my daughters to have! You can read the full press release here.

Apparently the Nickelodeon and Mattel have found out (from who?) that the Kindergarten set are too cool for Dora, tossing her aside for dolls like Bratz. So they have decided to do the creepiest thing possible and make Dora look like a slut. They have released a sillhouette of what the "new" Dora will look like:

Yup. I'm a little scared too. Why is she standing like that? Is she wearing a mini skirt? Dora doesn't wear skirts-she wears shorts! And how can she expect to go on adventures wearing ballet flats? Where are her sneakers?

Now I have done my share of bitching about Dora. In fact, my girls can only watch it if I am not in the room because I really just cannot handle it. But it's not a show for me. It's for preschoolers. And they love it. My 3 year old has a larger Spanish vocabulary than I have, and I studied that language for 4 years in high school. When we're coloring, she asks me to pass her "amarillo" when she wants the yellow crayon. Will we be learning the Spanish word for "totally" when the new Dora is revealed?

Kids outgrow things. It happens. I think the better way to approach this may have been to create a family member (a la Diego) for the older crowd. Maybe an older bobble-headed cousin if that's the demographic they want to reach out to. To make your cartoon characters age is stange and creepy. Especially since so many girls (and their parents!) are comfortable with Dora the way she is. Besides, Nickelodeon has Spongebob and we all know about his cross-generational appeal. There are men in their late twenties living in their parent's basements that can't get enough of that guy.

New Dora will not be banned in my house. I don't think it will be necessary. My girls relate to Dora the Explorer, not Dora the Mallrat. If anything, I think Diego will start to have more appeal. That is, at least until his voice deepens and he starts to sprout facial hair.

Top 10 Reasons Why I wouldn't trade my Mother for all the money in the World... VIA Her Quotes...

10- "Jimmy, I told you not to let me cook or use knives when I'm drinking!"

9- "I LOVE HIM SO MUCH"- she says this after anyone talks about Rex her grandson.

8- "Cari, will you consider Eloping and having a baby now... seriously"

7- on my Voice Mail "Cari, this is your mother... why aren't you answering your phone?" This is said in my favorite high pitch southern voice.

6- "Cari, Can you call your sister?"

5-"Y'ALL STOP MAKING FUN OF ME!"

4-"hey, do that voice of that guy on that show... com'on do it for me"

3-"Casey... would I like Pineapple Express?"

2-" LUDJ YOU!" she says this in emails and in person.. its her cute way of saying love you!

1-"I love you"- People don't say this enough to their kids... my mother has said it to me everyday for 25 years.

bonus reason: she's crazy.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, Boyfriend?!?

Can someone please explain this to me?

Note: I didn't notice the dog eating off the kitchen chair until I uploaded this pic. And sorry for the shit-tastic picture. It was taken with my POS cell phone.

....But YOU'RE the one who has to wear it FOREVER!

So, just in case you have never gone shopping for a wedding band let me start by saying .. its truly a fun and heartwarming experience. To buy something that symbolizes something so monumental in our lives yet, such a sweet and ancient message.

Did you know what the ancient Greeks started wearing rings on the 4th finger of the left hand because it was supposed to be a direct line to your heart?


Fiance and I recently purchased our rings, and I love them. It's amazing how men are such different creatures sometimes... Here's how buying his ring went..



"Baby, you need to tell me what kind of ring you want"


"one that fits on my finger... oh and is black."


"That's it, that's all the requirements?


"Yep, I'll wear whatever you like best"


"So I'll Pick it out and You will Wear it FOREVER"


..fiance makes a pucking noise because he's a romantic...


"YES CARI!"


"FINE"



But me however, it needed to match my engagement ring, and be pretty on its own. Now my engagement ring isn't very traditional so it was so hard for find one that didn't' get lost next to it. So the ring we bought for Fiance, which in the stores was anywhere from 200-400 bucks I found the same brand and design on Overstock.com for $70, and the ring we bought for me, of course I had to go back to the store like 6 times, and try on rings at every other jewelry store first, and take pictures of it on my cell phone and send it to friends to see what they thought...Now we have them and they do not match, do not look traditional in any sense of the word.. but we love them, and I love that we bought mine on Valentines day 5 minutes before the store closed. The clerk asked me if i wanted to wear it out of the store.. truth is YES I DID!! Why wouldn't I.. diamonds are kinda fun.. but there is also something exciting in knowing that this piece of jewelry is much more than a good deal or a perfect fit.. its a very serious commitment that in 7 months I will be making, and I can't wait!

** Note, mine is much shinier in person!**

**Next to the engagment ring**

Valentine's Day, Schmalentine's Day

So I had someone ask me today if I had made any "big Valentine's Day weekend plans" with my significant other. What? Are people seriously making a weekend out of this because Valentine's Day is on a Saturday? When I told him that we weren't really doing anything he said that my guy was a lucky man because if he doesn't spend at least $200 on his wife then she doesn't speak with him for weeks. I'm hoping that this woman is in the minority becasue if not, then I really feel sorry for you guys...

We went out to dinner for our first Valentine's Day. We agreed that there would be no gift exchange, so that part was easy. Dinner was insanely busy at the restaurant (big surprise, huh?) so we decided that night that we probably weren't going to do that again. I think we may be going out to dinner sometime after Valentine's Day this year, but if we don't get around to it, I will not feel un-loved. Valentine's Day has always been just a "greeting card holiday" to me. I just never really found it that important.

I remember realizing that Valentine's Day sucked when I was in Middle School. The student council always had a fundraiser where you could buy valentines and/or carnations and have them delivered to your "special someone's" homeroom on Valentine's Day as a surprise. For three years I hoped that I would have something waiting for me on top of my desk when I walked into first period. And for three years - nothing. Imagine my sad little face looking around to see everyone else's flowers and then looking back at my empty desk. I like to think that was a character building experience and that it helped me become the well-adjusted adult that I am. The reason I think this is because all of those girls who got flowers are now whores.

So this year, take me out to dinner on a night when I don't have to wait 45 minutes for a table after we have already made reservations weeks ahead of time. Or maybe you could cook me dinner. Hell, I'll even do the dishes! And then, maybe some wine...for me. You will be left in charge of making sure the kids have been fed and bathed before being dragged to bed, kicking and screaming because they want ONE MORE DORA!!!! I'll be watching my Netflix and drinking my bottle of Red Cat. It will be the best Valentine's Day ever!

If you're in a bad mood...

This is why I am afraid to have kids... WHAT IF THEY ARE NOT THIS CUTE!

I was in a kind of a mood until I found this link I had sent to Rachel a long time ago...

Enjoy.

So Maybe We Need a 3 Bedroom House

We live in a two bedroom place with two girls. It's temporary, but it works for now. The baby just recently moved from our bedroom to her sister's room because she was ready for the "big girl crib". By "ready" I mean she was sleeping through the night for the most part and there was a slim chance that she would wake up Big Sister.

Everything had been going swimmingly until Little Sister got sick a couple weeks ago. She had a nasty chest cold and a double ear infection so she was up periodically throughout the night hacking, crying, screaming and just plain pissed off that she was sick. Big Sister only woke up once during the two week stretch to complain about the baby keeping her up, so I thought we were doing pretty good.

Last night, Little Sister slept through the night, which meant that their father and I also slept through the night because we didn't have to sleep with a hacking, crying, screaming pissed off baby. In fact, I slept so soundly that I didn't even hear Big Sister come in our room and crawl into bed with us. When I got out of bed, I notcied she was in there and there was something on her head. When I leaned in closer, I started laughing. Hysterically.

She was wearing her earmuffs! Not the kind that keep you warm - the kind that protect your ears from loud noises.* Yes, she went to bed anticipating that fact that her sister would probably be keeping her up again and she was going to use the proper ear protection. It's just too bad she can't appreciate the irony in that fact that the first night she decided to use the headgear was the first night here sister decided to sleep all night.

*We have earmuffs for the girls because their dad is an avid race fan and we frequent the local track. Not because we're weirdos.

My Fiance's Obession...

So not having kids yet ourselves, Fiance and I have a killer Cat and a dog, Vader and Anakin. That's right.. Star Wars. Get Over it. These are our babies, we are very good pet owners and we, especially over sensitive Fiance, notice when things are wrong and take action very quickly.

Recently we had to take the dog Anakin to the vet because he was violently throwing up and not eating anything. So the vet, Dr. Hetzner of Lowville Countryside Vet Clinic who was awesome, discoverers that there is something blocking his GI Tack and he had to go in and see what the blockage was, long story short it was a piece of a Busy Buddy toy we had bought him months ago AT THE VET when he blew his knee cap out... i know i know.. if he was an actual kid they'd have called social services on us by now.

So the day after he had surgery we went to visit him in doggy hospital. Now they had shaved his whole underbelly including his :: ahem:: doggy boy parts. The first thing Fiance says when we go see our boy is..."His penis looks smaller". The vet tech didn't even know what to say..I just looked at him and he keep saying it!

"what! it does, his penis looks smaller"

I had to reassure him that he hadn't eaten in over a week and he had lost weight, so the combination of the shaving and the loose skin is creating the illusion of a small unit, and our boy was still as manly as he was before the surgery.

Fiance let it go for a while, and this morning, Anakin was stretching out on his back, a good sign of recovery, and of course with the shaved underbelly his doggy man parts were in full force on display. Instead of being excited he could again get into that position even with staples in his abdomen Fiance notices what he thinks are two lumps by the dog bits and with force looks at me and says " You have to call the vet and tell him he has two lumps by his penis, that's why he's licking it, what if its blood clots, OH SHIT!"

Remember, I love this man, and usually he's pretty spot on noticing things others might disregard, but this was too much.

So he spent the next 5 minutes looking at it and making sure things were OK. I had to tell him, he's licking it because he's a dog, they live to lick themselves then lick your face, he's fine.

Fiance finally conceded but not first with out saying, "Fine, but keep an eye on it"

Um.. can you imagine calling the vet to say "Yeah, hi, there's something wrong with my dogs penis."

Top Ten Things Heard Around the Everyday Office...

10- "Hey did you get that Email i sent you?" - this is said 3 minutes after the email has been sent.
9- "Ugh.. is it still snowing?!" - This is said when anyone enters the doors covered in snow.
8-" Do we get presidents day off? Nope."
7- (in passing...) "Ugh.. is it lunch time yet?"
6- "Hey I Left you a voicemail!"- this is followed up by telling the person every word you said in the voicemail.
5-“hey!! Boss isn’t here today”.. “uh oh… party!”
4-"Is your Internet working?"
3- "Hey Boss!"
2- "Did you get the memo?"
1-"must be a Monday"- this is followed by you punching that person.

Peter Pan: Whoremaster?

Peter Pan was my first crush. And just to be clear, we're talking about the Disney cartoon, not the Julie Andrews version. I didn't realize this until I was watching it last night with my daughter. This was our Netflix this week because I have a problem. It's amazing how much of the movie I remember from childhood. There was not a single frame of that film that I couldn't recall from when I watched it forever ago when my brother and I were kids.

So why was Peter Pan my first crush? Because he is a BAD ASS! No one tells him what to do, he fights pirates all the time and he had an entire gang that do whatever he says. And then, there's the ladies...

Not only do all girls love a bad ass, all girls love a man (or boy, in this case) that is unavailable. And Peter Pan is unavailable not because he is in a relationship, but because he chooses not to be in a relationship (swoon). Just look at how pissed Tinkerbell got when Peter decided to take Wendy to Neverland! She's a fairy. How would that even work? And the Mermaids... They tried to drown Wendy when they found out that she was tagging along with their man. They honest to God wanted to kill her! What man wouldn't want this kind of power over women?

The thing is, does Peter Pan even know what kind of power he holds? When Wendy gets jealous over his flirtation with the Indian Princess Tigerlilly, Peter is able to talk his way out of it without even trying. I don't even think he really apologizes!

I guess some people would argue that Peter Pan appears to have no interest in women because he is gay. After all, what kind of whoremaster would wear tights? Whetever the case, my hat goes off to you, Peter. You have the ladies eating out of the palm of your hand. And this guy.

At Last...

Last night I was watching the "Neighboorhood Ball" and it was ok, however, as Beyonce was singing At Last and President Obama and Mrs. Obama were dancing, it made me cry. Its not that here is our "messiah" new president as the right likes to call him, mostly because they can't handle the defiet, but here is a man, who loves his wife, and he reached his ultimate goal, and we got to watch. If this does not hit you on a level deep down then I just don't know what to say...

Watertown Daily Times Article Titled : North Country Blacks Excited about Obama...

Do we not have a better way of saying this? I mean really… nothing screams.. WE’RE REALLY NOT COMFORTABLE WITH DIVERSITY or WE REALLY AREN’T A DIVERSE AREA like this headline. Now, I’m not one for politically correctness all the time, but the WDT full of journalism majors and writers, well maybe not since its more of a who do I know that can help me get a job area more than a hey, look at my hard work and merit area, who should be able to make this headline a little more graceful. Watertown Blacks? Where are we 1958 Alabama? Why not say African American Watertown Residents? Now I get that if it were Hilary, there’d be a headline that said “Watertown Women excited for Hilary”, but it’s like.. Duh, of course they are... there have been years of struggle and fight to get to the top. So instead of taking another step back to say hey…local black people are excited! Let’s take a step forward and say.. Congratulations America, we are closer to coming out of the shadows of our past, we really are one step closer to that melting pot that we learned about in middle school. We are capable of voting on merit and morals and forward thinking and we are ALL excited about Obama. Listen, I chose to live here, I’ve lived in Atlanta and Los Angeles, and I cherish the fact that Watertown is a small town and for the most part it’s a safe town, but let’s face it, we aren’t that diverse, but we are growing. If I were to take that headline to another bigger city, it would scream small town, small minded, when I know deep down, we aren’t really, and we’ve just got to catch up.

I know I’m not the only one who feels this way…

(Rachel, this is where you come in...)

I am a white woman who is excited to see Obama become the next President of the United States. A lot of Americans are excited about it. And some Americans are not. Some NNY Residents are not. All you have to do is tune in to a local radio show in the morning and listen for yourself to see how intolerant of a region this is.
To me, the piece sounds like it was written to try to make it seem like we are a culturally diverse area. And really – we’re not. There are residents here that throw around the “N” like it’s an acceptable part of their vocabulary. Truth be told, they’ve never been called out on it. They say it because there is pretty much no chance that they will get their ass kicked for it. There are bars in Watertown that will not allow soldiers as patrons. They will deny you access because you have an “out of state license”. What better way to say “We don’t like outsiders” that that?
This article (North Country Blacks Excited about Obama) was attempting something noble, but if you look beneath the surface, it failed miserably.

**Amendment- Even if Black is the AP term- to us it does not invoke community, which is what we should be striving for in such a small one.. also, The AP uses Black, as in Watertown Black Residents, it does not use the plural as inNorth Country Blacks...

Re: That's Right NNY - You Have an Accent

Since Cari has outed all of us for having an accent, I thought that perhaps it was time to embrace it. I have been places where people have asked me where I'm from because I have an "accent". I always thought this was strange until now. So, for all of you out-of-towners, I offer you this guide to speaking NNY-ese:

1. Coyote (kahy-oh-tee or kahy-oht) I looked it up. We're both right. Having been laughed out of the room while using the first pronounciation of the word among a group of men dressed head to toe in camo and equipped with guns, I will be sticking to the latter version. Especially when referring to coyote hunting. Which brings me to...

2. Hunting (huh-in) Apparently the first n, the t and the g are all silent in this word. We don't really use the g for the majority of words that we say. It's just there to make the word look pretty. So if someone tells you they are going coyote hunting and don't pronounce it, "Goin kahy-ote huh-in" then they are lying. Or they are a poseur.

3. For (fer) Example: I'm goin to the store fer some milk. (Note: Some pronounce milk "melk", but they are stupid). Usually, you are talking fast enough when you say this that no one will really pick up on it. The only time it will really get noticed is when you use it in the middle of a sentence and then forget what you were going to say. Ex: I got that stuff fer...... See, now you just sound like an idiot. I know. I've done it. Lesson learned.

4. Yup and Nope (yuht and noht) "Yup" and "Nope" are slang words to begin with, but we've taken it one step further: We've eliminated the p at the end. If you are going to use these words, I stongly advise you not to do so in a professional environment or a job interview. I would never hire someone who answered "yuht" or "noht" to any question that I asked. At least put the p back at the end.

By the way, NNY gave us Potato Chips. Is there really a clear winner here?

That's right NNY- You have an accent.

So, I was born and raised in Flowery Branch, GA, I moved to NNY (Carthage to be specific) when I was 13. Needless to say along with my books, clothes, and wishes of warmer weather came along, my southern accent. Now GA has a very sing song... Paula Deen accent. Which is what my beautiful mother sounds like to this day... and sometimes I miss it.

Of course 13 is a hard age for any kid, needless to say a kid in a new town with a funny accent. But here's what I noticed... YOU PEOPLE HAVE ACCENTS TOO! That's right... I'll never forget one day my friend, who has always lived in Upstate NY, said, "I don't understand the southern accent, I mean, don't they get that everyone else sounds the same and they don't" Well, I guess she didn't realize that the south isn't one tiny corner of our country.. most of us have some sort of regional accent, and since I spent my middle school days being picked on for my silly southern one, and I have witnessed many people talk to my mother, like she is stupid just because of her accent.. I am here to get my revenge! Listen up NNY.. because you (read in a southern accent..) DON'T TALK RIGHT EITHER!

1. Coyote (kahy-oh-tee)- Many Northern New Yorkers say this word with out the "e" sound at the end, look it up people.

2. Roof- dictionary key same- This is NOT pronounced RUF. That is the noise that comes out of a dogs mouth.. you do NOT need to shovel your RUF. You need to Shovel your ROOF!

3. Creek (kreek)- This word is pronounced just like its spelled. It is not pronounced.. CRICK. That is something you might get in your neck after sleeping wrong, or a sound the stairs make in an old house... NOT A BODY OF WATER. Just like meek, or reek, or geek. They all have the same vowel sound, you wouldn't say.. "your such a GIK" so why would you say.."i went down to the CRICK?!! please stop it.

4. SO DON'T I. This is often said when someone is agreeing with something that is being said "Oh Man I love www.podunkposh.com" ... "Oh really, SO DON'T I!!" um.. your negating what you are trying to say. What your really saying when you can't use proper grammar and say.. So Don't I, is "I don't". This may sound foreign to you, but I promise you'll catch it next time its said.

So these are just a FEW things that really get me. I'm not trying to be bitchy, but if you think that just because someone has a southern accent they are stupid, or must not be as up to date as you remember 2 things... 1- Chances are, you are not using proper grammar either, 2- Atlanta gave us Coca-Cola, and Waffle House.. therefore THE SOUTH WINS!

Top Ten Reasons Why I Wish I Was 3 Again

1. I could nap in the middle of the day, or pretty much whenever I wanted to

2. If I didn't comb my hair, nobody would judge me for it.

3. If I wanted to wear camouflage pants to my birthday party, that would be cool

4. Play Doh

5. No one would ever look at my artwork and tell me to make changes

"These are 2 guys. The pink one is sad and has two suns
on his arms. The blue one is happy and bigger." ~Natali, Age 3

7. My Little Pony underwear

8. If I was cranky, everyone would just know that I was tired

9. If I wanted to stop a Top Ten list at number 9, I could

Bridezilla!!!

Ok, so I am engaged, and I am not really one of those crazy girly girls who has had their wedding planned out for like years. There is no trapper keeper filled with Magazine cut outs if my 12 year old head on a wedding dress adorned body standing at an alter with Ryder Strong in his Boy Meets World Days. So when the fiance popped the question, I was all... I don't even know where to start. So I figure this is a great place to chronicle some of my experiences.. Rachel has her awesome kids to write about... (does that make her a mommy blogger?) And so I guess, I have my wedding to write about, both of which makes us experts and you should take every word we have to say ...VERY SERIOUSLY.


So my first thought, living in a very rural area...I WILL NOT GET MARRIED IN A FIRE HALL. Now, thank god that is not the case. I wanna plan something fairly simple yet... posh. So to get some guidance Ihave now attended 2 wedding shows. One here in Watertown and one in Syracuse.


The one in Watertown I think was as to be expected, a good show, a little small. But they had one of everything at least, jewelers, DJ's, Photographers, cake people, florist, make-up, dress/tux shops.. ect. I got what I needed out of a few good ideas..


Now the one is Syracuse...which isn't NYC but a much bigger place than Watertown, WAS A JOKE. No jewelers, I think I saw one cake person, ONLY ONE DRESS SHOP!!, and lots of photographers, DJ's and reception places. There was a fashion show on the hour which was cute and they guys came out and performed little choreographed dances and the old ladies whooped it up because, lets be honest, that's the most excitement you're getting from men in this area. But I'm paying for parking, paying to get into the show, and you only have 1 dress shop! What is the point? The no jeweler thing kills me, even if I were eloping, I'd be buying jewelry.. umm.. Rings! I even think you talk about rings in at your ceremony.. you know..with this ring.. blahblah blah..not with this awesome gourmet company I the wedd.. I was a bit disappointed for how promoted it was! And the vendors ...they had a ton of Photogs, and reception halls i have both.. http://www.jbassphoto.com/ check out my photographer.. AMAZING!

* side note I won him in a silent auction... such a money saver!



Rachel will be doing my invitations, so the few things I really needed help with they didn't' have.. so hopefully I will be able to log my experiences here and have a very posh wedding in a very podunk place!



Thank God, one of my awesome bridesmaids went with me.. we also stopped and tried on bridesmaid dresses!

A Day in the Life of Shamus McGee

January 9th, 2008

2:16 AM Paced the kitchen floor for 35 minutes.  I didn't really need anything - I just like to hear the sound of my toenails on the linoleum.

5:00 AM My people finally woke up and let me outside to take a leak.  Holy shit! It was cold out there! 30 seconds after I went outside, I barked at the door for 2 minutes straight until someone let me in.

7:00 AM My people left for work. I was able to sneak out the front door but fell victim once again to the "Treat Treat" trick.  Damn my lack of willpower! I was lured back into the house and barked at the window for about 45 minutes after they pulled out of the driveway.  

7:45 AM Found a stray diaper on the floor and ripped it into tic tac sized pieces.  I have to say that I was a little disappointed that it was a clean diaper.

8:00 AM Was exhausted from the diaper escapade.  Crawled under the couch to take a nap.

10:00 AM Awoke to the sound of the garbage man.  Barked at the window until I was hoarse.

3:26 PM Chewed at my feet and pulled some fur from my back.  Note: Remind my people to take me to the vet to seek treatment for my neurosis.

5:30 PM People came home.  I jumped all over them and knocked the small ones down.  One of the small ones came after me with a My Little Pony.  Had to take cover under the couch until dinner.

6:43 PM No table scraps again tonight.  I will hold out hope for later in the week.

11:00 PM People went to sleep.  I was able to sneak some food from the garbage onto the couch and continue pulling fur from my body.

A Converstation with my Mother

"I'm going to the Casino tonight!"

"If you win, Leave... Have fun!!"

"I'm going to be drinking Vodka and Grapefruit and hitting MAX BET BABY!"

"I'm so Proud!"


and yes, we end everything we say with an exclamation mark.

A Conversation with My Fiance

After putting on shirt that I hadn't worn in a while...

me: Hey, How does this shirt look?

Fiance: LOOK AT THOSE CANS!

also,

I found this picture on People.com- its Chris Noths' Baby... who new Mr. Big could have such a cute freaking kid!

When Did I Become Such a Pussy?

Let me just start out by saying that I have always been a huge fan of scary movies. Not so much blood and guts (not that blood and guts ever bothered me) - but suspense. You know, the "When is that guy going to jump out of the bushes and kill those unrealistically beautiful and adult-looking high school kids?" kind of suspense. Some of my fondest memories include watching every scary movie available with my friends when I was younger.

And then something very weird happened...

I got my Netflix in the mail about a month ago and was so excited, because the only DVD's our player has ever seen include Dora, Diego and Tom & Jerry. So when "The Strangers" showed up in my mailbox, I couldn't wait to get the kids to bed and watch it. I got through the first 5 minutes and was totally terrified and had to stop the movie. I know - what the hell? Nothing even happens it the first 5 minutes! I don't even think there was any talking yet! So, no big deal - I'll just send it back and get my next movie. Because obviously a brief flashback scene and two people moping around a house is just too damn scary for me.

So when "Zodiac" came, I put that sucker in and made it about 3 minutes. I got to the part where the couple is parked and a car pulls up in the background. Nope - can't handle it - Eject. Seriously? Seriously. What in the name of Alfred Hitchcock is the matter with me? Is it because these two movies are "based on actual events"? Did giving birth negate my " I love scary shit" gene? Whetever it is, I need to fix it. It's embarassing.

So, Netflix - I will be anxiously awaiting the next movie in my queue, Peter Pan.

Random Top 10

Top Ten Most Random facts I Found on the Internet:
1- Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, while dogs only have about ten
2- Stewardesses’ is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand
3- Emus and kangaroos cannot walk backwards, and are on the Australian coat of arms for that reason.
4- It was discovered on a space mission that a frog can throw up. The frog throws up its stomach first, so the stomach is dangling out of its mouth. Then the frog uses its forearms to dig out all of the stomach’s contents and then swallows the stomach back down again.
5- The New Kids on the Block are still performing “You Got the Right Stuff” along with the “New Kid Dance”
6- A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
7- Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
8- The word “set” has more definitions than any other word in the English language.
9- Odontophobia is the fear of teeth
10- Kansas state law requires pedestrians crossing the highways at night to wear tail lights.

New Years Resolutions

So I guess we should be making New Years Resolutions. So Here's my List.


1. Make a Reece's Peanut Butter Cup Fat/Calorie Free and have it taste exactly the same.

2. Change People's reactions to Kathy Griffin Swearing. I know she lives for it, but our societies reaction to a swear word has got to stop. This morning more than one major web site's headline has something to do with Kathy Griffin swearing at some NYC Partier on New Years Eve as she co-hosted events on CNN with Anderson Cooper. UM...WHO F*N CARES!! Last time I checked the middle east was still exploding, our weather is all messed up, people are still starving, people are still dying of AIDS and we look the other way... Kathy Griffin telling off some heckler is NOT a big deal. First of all, we know she's gonna do it, that's why CNN hired her, she makes me laugh and Anderson Cooper laugh, so why is it such a shock when she said it..AFTER MIDNIGHT.

Last I checked she was ringing in 2009 not 1909. Get Over it. People swear and show their ankles in public. I probably just blew some peoples mind with that tidbit.

3. Wear this hat everywhere because its awesome...

Happy New Year!