Top 10 Reasons Why I wouldn't trade my Mother for all the money in the World... VIA Her Quotes...

10- "Jimmy, I told you not to let me cook or use knives when I'm drinking!"

9- "I LOVE HIM SO MUCH"- she says this after anyone talks about Rex her grandson.

8- "Cari, will you consider Eloping and having a baby now... seriously"

7- on my Voice Mail "Cari, this is your mother... why aren't you answering your phone?" This is said in my favorite high pitch southern voice.

6- "Cari, Can you call your sister?"

5-"Y'ALL STOP MAKING FUN OF ME!"

4-"hey, do that voice of that guy on that show... com'on do it for me"

3-"Casey... would I like Pineapple Express?"

2-" LUDJ YOU!" she says this in emails and in person.. its her cute way of saying love you!

1-"I love you"- People don't say this enough to their kids... my mother has said it to me everyday for 25 years.

bonus reason: she's crazy.

A Converstation with my Mother

"I'm going to the Casino tonight!"

"If you win, Leave... Have fun!!"

"I'm going to be drinking Vodka and Grapefruit and hitting MAX BET BABY!"

"I'm so Proud!"


and yes, we end everything we say with an exclamation mark.

Why My Mother Would Not Make a Good Comedian

At one point in my life my dream was to be on/write for SNL. Amy Poehler is my hero. It has always been obvious to me that most of my material would come from the honest, jolly goodness that is my mother. My whole life i have tried to be the center of attention whether i realized it or not, so my sister and i (who have like the same exact sense of humor) would always recite lines from movies or I would do a stupid impression of Fire Marshall Bill from In Living Color and my mother would literally die of laughter. We would have her rolling on the floor and there have been a couple of occasions where she was almost wetting herself asking us to stop, so not only do my sister and I possess this hypnotic quality over my mother both of her step children do it too .. and as grown adults we all still do it. Its like a 4 person attack. Now, as for her doing an impression or reciting a line.. she almost always gets it wrong and cannot keep a straight face, which in turn makes all of us kids laugh until we are wetting ourselves. I like to picture my mother on stage trying to do an impression and only being able to squeak certain words out in her high pitched southern accent between breaths because she is laughing so hard before she even tells the joke. She has also spent countless hours saying "Do it (insert name of child here), say what that guy says... you do it so good".

Needless to say our 2008 Christmas was filled with nothing but this sort of thing... laughter, joke requests, and more laughter. I think as long as I can continue to hear that laugh that my mother gives me at my not so good impressions I will never need SNL. My sister and I would walk through fire to hear that laugh.