Monday, December 29, 2008
Why My Mother Would Not Make a Good Comedian
Needless to say our 2008 Christmas was filled with nothing but this sort of thing... laughter, joke requests, and more laughter. I think as long as I can continue to hear that laugh that my mother gives me at my not so good impressions I will never need SNL. My sister and I would walk through fire to hear that laugh.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Reason #1 Why I Love Vacation
Backstory:
We had been at my Aunt's house for approximately 5 hours. My brother had almost finished a bottle of Jack and decided it was time for bed (at 7:30 pm). My Uncle - a man in his late thirties - thought that 7:30 was too early to go to bed and that it might be a good idea to go in and try to wake him up...with a lighter and an aerosol can. That is my 12 year old cousin in the background screaming because he is afraid that his father is going to burn the house down. Ah, memories!
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Top Ten Holiday Habits
10- Red and Green M&M's. Its not Christmas without a bowl of those delicious treats on a side table.
9- Be amazed by the traffic on your way to the mall. Even though it happens every year at some point you or someone you know always says.."Man, can you believe the traffic up to the mall? It's so crazy."
8- Question if we will have a white Christmas. Umm... we live in Northern New York, I'm putting my money on snow.
7-Ask a co-worker if they've ever seen ".... that movie where the kid wants the BB Gun and they keep telling him he'll shoot is eye out... what's that called.?" ITS CALLED A CHRISTMAS STORY YOU IDIOT, ITS BEEN ON TV SINCE 1987 EVERY YEAR IN 24 HOUR INSTALMENTS. And yes, they've seen it and they love it.
6- Secret Santa. This is a tradition that sounds fun, but you ultimately just end up buying a $10 gift card to Dunkin Donuts or Bath and Body Works... lets give this one up shall we.
5- Office Christmas party. Now this one is either a dreaded event or one you can't wait for! As a part time bar tender who has worked many a Christmas party, I've seen both. Let me tell you, being the one who is playing "Pour Some Sugar on Me" By Def Leopard and begging people to do shots of SOCO and Lime with you...sounds fun... but I don't even want to think of the looks they get on the office on Monday. However, from the Bartenders POV... its awesome. Especially if it was some douche I went to high school with.
4- Declare that you have spent way to much this year. We all did captain obvious.
3- Begging your mom to open just one present before Christmas. Yes, even when you are a grown woman.
2- Christmas apparel. This is when the middle aged women really start showing their true age. When you show up with a snowman, reindeer, Santa or candy canes on your knitted sweater, you might as well have 'Hey Guys I'm 44!" Crocheted onto the back like a last name and number on a Football Jersey.
1- Hug your Family. This is a good one that does not warrant a joke!
Merry Christmas from Podunk Posh!